Current:Home > reviews'Fair Play' and when you're jealous of your partner’s work success -USAMarket
'Fair Play' and when you're jealous of your partner’s work success
View
Date:2025-04-19 03:23:04
That promotion you've yearned for just went to your colleague. That raise you asked for won't hit your bank account after all. That company you were hoping to work at − they rejected you.
Everyone faces job disappointments. But what happens when your partner is killing it professionally, while you're stuck in a rut?
In Netflix's new movie "Fair Play" (now streaming), Emily (Phoebe Dynevor) gets promoted in lieu of her fiancée Luke (Alden Ehrenreich) at their demanding financial firm. While not every scenario will hit as close to home – as not everyone works with their partner – the movie dredges up questions about how we deal with professional jealousy.
Personal insecurity is typically the root of jealousy, according to experts, and it requires unpacking the reasons behind it and talking with your partner to figure out how to best move forward.
"When we experience jealousy, we're really coming up against what we see as threats in our own fear of loss," says Miranda Nadeau, a licensed psychologist. "What could it mean about my career, if someone else is successful? What might I lose, based on what someone else is gaining? Recognizing the underlying dynamics is the first step in moving toward peace."
'Jealousy is a natural human emotion'
First: Don't try and run from your jealous feelings. "Jealousy is a natural human emotion, and treating yourself with kindness when it arises – rather than berating yourself or blaming yourself for being unsupportive – will also help with feeling your feelings in a way that they don't have control over you," Nadeau says.
Those who are jealous feel inadequate in some way, and have "a deep concern that something or someone will be taken away from them," adds Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker.
In the case of work success, "it may be helpful to examine what 'stories' or 'beliefs' one might be having about the situation," Ahrens says. What are you telling yourself in your head about your partner's promotion? Are their sexist or otherwise problematic views feeding your irrational thoughts about the situation?
"Evaluate the validity of these stories or beliefs and see if they are in fact true or factual," Ahrens says.
Also consider whether this has come up before in your life, and how. "Are you being triggered or activated by a past event?" Ahrens says. "All of these things can contribute to one’s feelings of jealousy, especially if these feelings are unresolved."
Nadeau adds: "If you can have some openness with your own jealousy, and if you can combine that compassion with trying to empathetically relate to the person you're jealous of, you may find yourself experiencing compersion, or sympathetic happiness for others' joy."
In case you missed:How to stop jealousy from destroying your relationship
'Avoid blaming or accusing'
If you're looking to at least somewhatquell your jealousy so you can be happy for your partner, consider practicing gratitude. Nadeau suggests "making a gratitude list of 10 things you're grateful for, perhaps in the domain where you're experiencing jealousy, or keep a gratitude journal of five things each day that you can appreciate." After some internal work on the roots of your jealousy, where do you go next?
Of course, Talk with your partner about how you're feeling before jealousy jumps out of you into biting comments or worse, a fit of rage.
"Avoid blaming or accusing them of wrongdoing. Instead, focus on your emotions and how you want to address them together," Sara Kuburic, a relationship expert, previously wrote in a column for USA TODAY. "Remember, feeling jealous is nothing we need to apologize for but we do need to ensure that our actions are still respectful and authentic."
Ahrens adds: "Communicating your underlying fears and concerns with your partner can help you receive the support and reassurance you need from your partner. Focusing on the things that you enjoy and experiences that add meaning and happiness to your life outside of the relationship is often helpful."
Overall, remember not to be too hard on yourself. Everyone dances with that green-eyed monster once in awhile. "Experiencing jealousy is not 'good' nor 'bad,'" Ahrens says. "It usually signals that something in our life needs attention or healing."
Uh oh:Are you ruining your relationship without even realizing it?
veryGood! (77957)
Related
- A Mississippi company is sentenced for mislabeling cheap seafood as premium local fish
- Battle with Texas rancher ends, 249 'zombie deer' killed amid state's largest CWD outbreak
- Parachute jump from WWII-era planes kicks off commemorations for the 80th anniversary of D-Day
- Why Miley Cyrus Can't Stop Working Out In Heels
- Buckingham Palace staff under investigation for 'bar brawl'
- Budget season arrives in Pennsylvania Capitol as lawmakers prepare for debate over massive surplus
- Mexico appears on verge of getting its first female president
- San Francisco program to give alcohol to addicts saves lives, fights 'beast of all beasts'
- Toyota to invest $922 million to build a new paint facility at its Kentucky complex
- Jason Kidd got most out of Luka Doncic, Kyrie Irving as Mavericks reached NBA Finals
Ranking
- Mets have visions of grandeur, and a dynasty, with Juan Soto as major catalyst
- 3rd try at approving recreational marijuana in South Dakota makes the ballot
- California firefighters make significant progress against wildfire east of San Francisco Bay
- Kim Kardashian's Makeup Artist Ash K. Holm Shares Her Dewy Makeup Tips for Oily Skin Types
- IRS recovers $4.7 billion in back taxes and braces for cuts with Trump and GOP in power
- Cucumbers recalled in 14 states due to salmonella risk
- Should you buy Nvidia before the 10-for-1 stock split?
- Miley Cyrus opens up about friendship with Beyoncé, writing 'II Most Wanted'
Recommendation
Opinion: Gianni Infantino, FIFA sell souls and 2034 World Cup for Saudi Arabia's billions
Anthony Fauci faces questions during contentious COVID-19 hearing in the House
Scottie Scheffler says he’s still trying to move past his arrest even after charges were dropped
Powerball winning numbers for June 3: Jackpot rises to $185 million
Pressure on a veteran and senator shows what’s next for those who oppose Trump
Six Texas freshwater mussels, the “livers of the rivers,” added to endangered species list
RFK Jr. sues Nevada’s top election official over ballot access as he scrambles to join debate stage
Chinese spacecraft lands on far side of moon